words and shit

Rocky Shake

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 18:48:54 GMT

I don't know about you, but the thought that you can buy Stallone's protein pudding makes me more than just a little uncomfortable...

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:13:45 GMT

It's almost Thanksgiving, and in keeping, I should be posting Xmas pictures. So here are some pictures from our county Halloween performance.

By way of explanation, we did Dancing With The Stars, featuring the luminaries Brigitte Nielsen doing a Charleston, former Attorney General Janet Reno line dancing, and Anna Nicole Smith in a passionate tango.

Janet, baby

She's got legs...

Yeah, our boots were scootin'

Save a horse, ride a cowboy

Come to ze Casbah with me

Beauty, thy name is Anna

We put the "oo" in Washougal

I'm the Kick

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:30:45 GMT

Yeah, it's been forever, but someday band and work and child and love will calm down long enough for me to restore my past posting status.

In the meantime, I'm whorin' and that ain't borin'.

All creativity, inspiration, and execution by Pablissimo Notley

These Things I Believe

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 19:47:16 GMT

Things I like:

--The Oklahoma Library Association’s literacy program is called “Read Y’all.” I sense this program might fail.

--The Arizona Cardinals were going to sell the naming rights to their new stadium to the Pink Taco chain. I’m sad that we’ll get no blimp shots as we fly over the giant Pink Taco.

Any room at this hotel (courtesy of mr_4).

Things I don’t like:

--W should never be allowed to utter the phrase “denucularization of the Korean peninshula.”

--The new subdivision I just approved, Cedar Oaks. Guess what? They cut down all the trees. No cedars, no oaks.

The new Barbie and Tanner dolls I got Alex. You feed Tanner her little doggie pellets, which she then poops out, Barbie scoops up, and feeds back to Tanner. I guess it’s appropriate that Tanner eats her own shit. She can also have diarrhea if you hold her tail down long enough.

A month of Sundays

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:37:54 GMT

It’s been like a zoo over the past month or so; a zoo where all the animals have escaped.

--Work has been untenable since my semi-partner left. I was overwhelmed by the workload before she left; now it is essentially undoable. I visit a site, tell them I’ll be back in a week to follow up, knowing I’ll be lucky if I get back to them in a month. My monthly report, which I usually issue in the first week of the following month, is now two months behind. We hired someone to fill the position, but she doesn’t start until October, and then it will be several months of my training her before she lightens my workload any.

--We’re in the middle of producing the crazydumbsaint ep. Started with a gig at Studio 415 on a Friday, followed by two twelve hour days in the studio Saturday and Sunday. It literally took me all of the next week to recover from this. Tonight we start the mixing process, which should take just about as long. Look out next week.

--Alex started kindergarten at…Grout this past Monday. Saying goodbye to the preschool she had been at for four-and-a-half years was at least slightly traumatic. Saying hello to Big School was not nearly so. On the first day, Alex fell smack in the middle between those kids who bopped around the room without even noticing their parents were there, and those who were weeping inconsolably and clutching their parents legs. And just to drive home the point: when we took her in for testing, her teacher noted that Alex was very bright, and that she might not be very stimulated in her half day kindergarten. Had we considered full day? How about magnet programs? Excuse me Teacher Dayle, but have you read my fucking journal?

I want to Kirk you like an animal

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 15:43:02 GMT

The love that dare not speak its name over hailing frequencies, courtesy of mr_4

Silly English K-nig-hts

Mark it 8, Dude

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 18:55:42 GMT

I absolutely love everything involved with astronomy and space exploration . It is full of the new and the undiscovered and the previously unimagineable. I was giddy with excitement when they were set to add three new planets (Ceres, Charon, and Xena) to our solar system, what with the talk of round agglomerations and eccentric orbits and remote barycenters.

However, the recent decision to axe Pluto from the planetary system is unacceptable. We're supposed to be adding to our body of knowledge, not subtracting from it. I mean, once you get voted to a Hall of Fame, you don't get voted out. Pluto has an acknoweldged body of work, and its career stats haven't changed for some time. Until OJ gets voted out, I'm going to continue to recognize Pluto as a planet orbiting around Sol.

That being said, I am organizing Pluto Loves U Too Orenthal. The goals of PLUTO will be to either get Pluto reinstated as a planet, or OJ kicked out of the Hall of Fame. Either one would be acceptable to me. We'll be making t-shirts with the aforementioned Big Lebowski quote, as well as "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Pluto," "Pluto is My Homeworld," and "Looking for the Real Planets" on them. Membership will be 3.7 billion dollars, in honor of Pluto's average distance from the sun.

This. Will. Not. Stand.

Metro Sexual

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:53:31 GMT

Found on a subway by pilarcruz

Got at b3co.com!

Must. Get. More. Metros.

Making a spectacle of herself

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 16:58:42 GMT

Went with the Tanuki and the lovely miroje to see the Pink Floyd Laser Spectacular at the Aladdin last night. If you're thinking it was probably less than spectacular, you're at least partially right.

The Tanuki was both apprehensive and excited. She knew that "rock" meant "loud," but I assured her we would put things in her ears to make it quieter. She also knew that this was the first time she was going to something that started past her bedtime of nine, so it must be important fun.

The lovely miroje was able to score us two free tickets, which greatly offset the $26 the other one cost. With the paid ticket, you got cardboard glasses that were essentially a kaleidoscope lens; not surprisingly, I didn't pay the extra $2 each for the adults to have glasses. The crowd was pretty much exactly what you would expect: burnt out potheads and street punk stoners. You could practically feel the lasers coming out of their eyes before the show (not that I didn't pre-imbibe myself). Made the glasses feel superfluous.

The show itself could not have been more ridiculous. While it was a step up from going to the planetarium to see old school Laser Floyd or Zep or Rush, it still had a hokey homemade feel that made you feel at least slightly embarrassed for being there. There were some lasers doing their usual spinning things, but a large part of the light setup were your standard robotic stage lights and smoke machines. They also did representational things that while technically okay, were just moronically literal interpretations of the lyrics. The sound was relatively clean and loudish, but it was nothing I couldn't get out of my stereo (and certainly didn't bother the Tanuki's toilet paper stuffed ears; she almost seemed disappointed).

They used the old saw of playing The Wizard of Oz under Dark Side of the Moon and under the lasers --for the first half. For some reason they switched to Metropolis half way through, which frustrated the Tanuki to no end. She wanted to see the Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion. Otherwise, she was enthralled. She bounced around to "Money" and swayed to "Great Gig in the Sky." She stared at the swirling lights through her glasses like she had a contact high; but made sure we were all forced to look at each new effect through the glasses as well. The lovely miroje and I spent more time watching the Tanuki thoroughly enjoy herself more than we did the silly show. She unabashedly screamed out "this...is...so...amazing!!" at one point. Although, so did half of the crowd. At least she's got the excuse of being a five year old.

And while it was far from pure, it was her first rock experience. If my mom had ever taken me to the equivalent, I would have thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

Today is Mt. St. Helens. Should be spectacular.

Streaking

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 16:52:05 GMT

Since I was 12, I have taken at least one significant backpack every year (you do the math). There have been numerous incarnations of the group, including solo trips, but I had always been a constant. However, as we speak, my buddies are traipsing around the north side of Mt. Adams, while I am not.

We were going to do the wilderness beach in Olympic National Park this year, but about two weeks ago my "good" ankle started hurting. My "good" ankle is the one I broke when I was 17 (you do the math), which was "good" in the sense that it was essentially immobile, and wouldn't turn over like its brother, the "bad" ankle. The "good" ankle has ached on and off for decades (good god, stop doing the math!), but its dull thud had just become the background noise of my life. This new pain was different; sharp and forward and immobilizing. I sadly informed my boys that my streak would be coming to an end.

Went to the doctor yesterday, who confirmed what I had surmised: bone chips and spurs. When I broke my ankle (and leg in three places), it was the dawn of sports surgery. I had been hoping for a basketball scholarship out of high school, and had gotten some interest from some of the division II schools in the Cal system, but my injury killed those chances. All of the cartilage was gone from my ankle, and they had no replacement for it back then. After almost 30 years (okay, I did the math) of bone riding on bone, it was no surprise that it was flaked and floured and abraded.

So within the next month or so, I get to experience sports surgery at its finest (as fine as Kaiser, that is). They'll scope it and clean it out and file it down, and I'll get my friend the dull thud back. Alex was happy that I wasn't going to go backpacking (known to her as the Big Hike) this year, because I would have missed her graduation from pre-school. "Now you'll get to see me go tra-la-la, " she said (and she actually did sing tra-la-la).

I think I know how I want to start my streak again...

The following is an incomplete list of where I have roamed over the past 35 years. Most trips were in the 5-10 day range, a handful less and more.

CA
Point Reyes National Seashore --too numerous to count
Sugarloaf Ridge
Marble Mountain Wilderness
Kings Canyon National Park --Mineral King area
Yosemite National Park --Little Yosemite Valley and Tenaya area
Mt. Whitney --my 50 miler with the Boy Scouts
Numerous unnamed Sierra trips

OR
Mt. Jefferson Wilderness --at least five times
Eagle Cap Wilderness
Three Sisters Wilderness --"climbed" South Sister
Eagle Creek --again, too numerous to count
Strawberry Mt. Wilderness
Mt. Hood Wilderness --at least three times
Mountain Lakes Wilderness
Metolius Breaks
Cache Lakes
Numerous unnamed Cascade Trips

WA
Indian Heaven Wilderness
Trapper Creek Wilderness
Goat Rocks Wilderness --at least four times
Mt. Adams Wilderness --at least twice
Pasayten Wilderness
Alpine Lakes Wilderness
Olympic National Park --Staircase Area
Glacier Peak Wilderness

ID
Frank Church/River of No Return Wilderness

WY
Yellowstone National Park --Grand Canyon area

Savage Nation

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 20:05:18 GMT

No, I'm serious, you should really see this.

Everybody Smile

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 13:52:49 GMT

We're now famous, because no one else has ever posted to YouTube before

Edit: And for real fun, you should see this.

No W, Know Jesus

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 13:20:28 GMT

I saw these on a pickup truck yesterday:

There is hope.

Beervana

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 17:48:40 GMT

I have finally recovered enough from the festivities to be able to post this.

Arnold Smarsh and I rode our bikes down to the Oregon Brewer’s Fest on Saturday afternoon. For those uninformed, the OBF is the largest, if not necessarily most important beer tasting in the country. And for the further uniformed, Portland now has the most brewpubs in the world (officially set at 31). Mr. Smarsh, being something of a home brewer and OBF volunteer, was able to procure us free entrance (which is a mug) and was a most knowledgeable and voluble guide.

Highlights of the fest, as far as I can remember:

--The Ned Flanders Style Red Ale from Rock Bottom. I’ve never been a fan of Rock Bottom’s stuff, but this was tasty and weird. Somewhat fruity, very sour, and like almost everything we tasted, 8+% alcohol.

--McMenamin’s White Lightning Whiskey Stout, which ran out halfway through the day. Again, never been really impressed by McMenamin’s , but this was good and rich, with a bourbon bite, although a little light on the mouth feel.

--All of the various double or imperial IPAs, which ranged from extremely florid and sweet, to bitter and dry. And way way way alcoholic.

--The Whoop Wave, where every 10 minutes or so, a random yell would rise from one tent or another, and travel in whatever direction it needed to to make the rounds of the fest. Not directly related to anything, except beer.

--The official shorts and t-shirt outfit, most of which were beer related. Favorite shirts included: “Don’t Drink Pee;” “I’m Shy, But I Have A Big Dick” (for Dick’s Ale); “Beer: Not Just For Breakfast Anymore;” “I Like Beer;” “Little Lebowski Urban Achievers;” and the annoyingly ubiquitous and just annoying “Vote For Pedro.”

--But the best best part was that you could have 55,000 people attend over four days, drinking mass quantities of highly alcoholic brew, and no one beat anybody else to death. I love drunk Portland.

The Passion of the Mel

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 19:33:52 GMT

Who'ld have thought Mel Gibson was a drunken anti-Semite? Well, just about everybody who couldn't tolerate his Jebus gore fest. I can't wait for his and Tom Cruise' project to come out. I hear it's a science fiction epic, done totally in the language of the planet Zontar, where they come to Earth to battle evil Jewish psychiatrists. The Mel and Tom fight on the side of the Zontarians against the drugged minions of the eJp's, and in the end, save the Earth in spite of itself. Then The Mel and Tom have a non-homosexual circle jerk and shit on Cartman.

Seriously stupid/Stupidly serious

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 15:27:09 GMT

Here are guys who should be in the Hall of Douchebags, but they're both too serious and too stupid. cds is going to have to change our costuming to keep up.

And here is the last word in gaming. Sadly, I've always wanted a Sims porn star version. For real.

From the goddess lizzie_borden

Is his last name Fender, Mercury, or Krueger?

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 01:38:34 GMT

This story is just too full of trashy horrible goodness:

--A severed hand named "Freddy".

--Someone threatening suicide with a hammer.

--A nude juice bar.

--And a stripper named Zilla, who would turn Lance Bass gay...oh, wait...

Be Cool

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 17:06:14 GMT

Photos as always by the lovely miroje

mmmm, sand...

feet lost forever

on the run

transfer of matter

soil bioengineering

Had to had to escape for refreshing maritime air with Cinderalex and the lovely miroje. Were going to meet up with various friends, none of which happened, none of which were missed. And my girls even let me stop on the way home to see an erosion control project (we do better). It was weird driving home though, in that as it got darker, it kept getting hotter. And hotter. Global warming, indeed.

Just Say No (For the Very First Time)

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 19:04:41 GMT

It's hard to believe that Bush could get even stupider ("I thought we were going to talk about the pig"), but his veto of enhanced stem cell research is the height of anti-intellectualism. We know that he is hostile to science, especially when it conflicts with either Mammon or God, but this is just retarded.

Most of the extra embryos created by in vitro processes (and don't get me started on the Cult of Personal Biology) are ultimately discarded. Isn't that "crossing a moral boundary"? Wouldn't being pro-life mean that if you can help preserve life by using what amounts to garbage, you should do so? Those that aren't destroyed are preserved for what? So 18 families can "adopt" them?

I must admit to a dog in this fight. My ex' lupus could be cured through gene therapy, or she could have a new kidney grown in a petri dish. And while these therapies are still a while off, they are now another year farther removed. I wonder how much of this is pure politics, as it is only the Rightist base that has any trouble with this issue. Bush's veto gives congress political cover, as they can say "see, we tried."

When you break your string of shutouts (Bush was the first Prez in over 120 years not to issue a veto --until today), you should find an issue that has some resonance for more than a small percentage of religious zealots. This is not it. Those of you who don't believe we're heading for some sort of theocratic autocracy can all get fucked.

G8 is Grrreaat!!

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 05:26:08 GMT

Best exchange from the recent summit:

Bush (re Putin): I talked about my desire to promote institutional change in parts of the world, like Iraq where there's a free press and free religion, and I told him that a lot of people in our country would hope that Russia would do the same.

Putin: We certainly would not want to have the same kind of democracy that they have in Iraq, quite honestly.

I don't want to share my planet with such creatures

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 17:03:35 GMT

Please, dear god, step on this thing!!

And it's hardly less creepy if it's not real.

Double Happiness

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 13:57:17 GMT

Photo and art (but not loving glance) by the magical Lady Sarah.

I'm freeeeeeee fallin'

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 13:41:33 GMT

While this is impressive in 2006, this was way more impressive in 1960.

Meaningless death notice #3340

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 02:22:09 GMT

Aaron Chwatt (Red Buttons) died today. He meant nothing to me. Although on the plus side, he did have a brother and sister with the unfortunate names of Joe and Ida. I wonder why he changed his name?

Now if Mickey Rooney would just kick it.

Bang!! Zoom!!

Hate Crime

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 01:21:29 GMT

Ken Lay, or at least a casket containing some poor sap made up to look like him, was buried in Houston today. Apparently we had Kenny Boy all wrong. He loved God, not mammon; would look people beneath him in the eye; and was the victim of white on white crime.

Poor Kenny Boy. So rich. So misunderstood.

(The Rev. William) Lawson likened Lay to James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death in a racially motivated murder near Jasper eight years ago.

"Ken Lay was neither black nor poor, as James Byrd was, but I'm angry because Ken was the victim of a lynching," said Lawson, who predicted that history will vindicate Lay.

His comments, met by hearty applause, referred to Lay's recent federal trial on fraud and conspiracy charges stemming from Enron's unraveling in 2001 and four charges of bank fraud. Lay had planned to appeal his conviction and was awaiting sentencing when he died.

Each of Lay's five children and stepchildren spoke, describing a moral and spiritual man who spent endless energy trying to unify his family.

"He had a lot of loving friends and a lot of loving family," said David Herrold, one of his two stepsons. "He had a strong faith in God, and I know he's in heaven. I'm glad he's not in a position anymore to be whipped by his enemy."

Family friend Mick Seidl defiantly described Lay as a "good, honest, God-fearing friend who did not have a criminal bone in his body.

"What really makes me sad today ... is that Ken may not be remembered for these enviable qualities," Seidl said. "Instead, many will remember him for the Enron bankruptcy, the indictment and the trial. Overzealous federal prosecutors and media have vilified an exceedingly good man."

The Rev. Steve Wende, pastor of First Methodist, cited the last verse of scripture that Lay wrote in his daily journal — "We live by faith, not by sight," from II Corinthians — and praised the family for standing behind him.

He recalled a moment near the beginning of the trial that he said typified the way Lay treated people. Wende was talking with a woman who was part of the courthouse cleaning crew, and she pointed to Lay.

"She said, 'When this whole trial started, one of the first things he did is walk over, look me in the eye, tell me I was doing a great job and thank me for the way I was cleaning the floors.' "

Wende said she then told him, 'I've been working here for years. He is the first man in a suit ever to look me in the eye and say anything kind.' "

--AP